C’est La Vie AV-man

July 14, 2012

You ask me why I’m weary, why I can’t speak to you
You blame me for my silence, say it’s time I changed and grew
But the war’s still going on, dear, and there’s nowhen that I know
And I can’t stand forever
I can’t say if we’re ever gonna be free

Don’t let these shakes go on, it’s time we had a break from it
It’s time we had some leave
We’ve been living in the flames
We’ve been eating up our brains
Oh please, don’t let these shakes go on.

You see me now a veteran of a thousand psychic wars
My energy is spent at last, and my armor is destroyed
I have used up all my weapons, and I’m helpless and bereaved
Wounds are all I’m made of
Did I hear you say that this is victory?

— Veteran of the Psychic Wars, Blue Oyster Cult

Over twenty years ago, I changed my voter registration to Republican. When I did, I was very vocal, not necessarily the brightest of moves in a Democrat town. In fact, the town was so Democrat that I was the first Republican that I knew.

During the past twenty years, there has been five Presidential Elections, at least eleven congressional elections, other elections, and so many issues that I can’t even count them. I am the epitome of  a political junkie, and I stayed informed through every thing. There were many times when I was sharper than a razor, and many times when I was down.

Over time I learned many things, among them to never get too high, and never get too down. I learned so many rules that I pretty much have one for every situation, political or regular life. For twenty years, I lived, breathed, and even ate politics. There’s a diet plan, every time you get hungry, think politics. It also works for fertile women who don’t want to get pregnant, talking politics is better than a cold shower.

One of those rules is that politics is never personal, don’t make it personal, don’t take it personal. When Mr. Obama was pushing through his health care bill, I was an insurance agent. I don’t know if politics had previously touched me in a personal way before, but this was an issue that really was hitting home. It’s a debate that I should have never been a part of.

Still, being an insurance agent, I knew what I was talking about and I could help sort out fact from fiction. Unfortunately for many proponents, including many of my long time friends, they would rather believe Barack Obama, than to believe a friend who worked in the field. It amazed me that while I would correct Republicans and these Democrats would insist I knew what I was talking about, I suddenly found they thought I knew nothing the more I corrected them as well. I never understood why they would rather believe a man who was in a profession known to be full of liars, while it was illegal for me to lie. I lost friends all because I was defending my profession.

There are many people who dislike Barack Obama more than I do, but there aren’t many people who are willing to make the sacrifices that I have. The Barack Obama years isn’t just about the economy for me, though economically I postponed my career to have the time that was necessary to getting Conservative Fifty off the ground. The Barack Obama years marks years of great loss.

My marriage ended, in part because of the commitment that I had to Conservative Fifty and politics. Towards the end of my marriage, I spent night after night staying up late trying to remove bad php coding on the sites, only to have them reappear the next morning. Yes, I am responsible for my mistakes, giving so much to the websites and neglecting my marriage.

I committed my personal funds to running these websites and attempted to create a business from it. Whether it succeeds or  fails is still up in the air, but the financing that I have made to it hasn’t been easy. It’s a commitment that I will hold onto until November 30, 2012.

Over the years, writing has given me great pleasure and looking back, I have had my impact on many things. I can look back with great pride and say to myself, I’ve done a lot of good. However, in order to give Conservative Fifty the attention it deserves, I am personally “retiring” from writing articles or doing anything political. This is my last article.

There war still carries on dear, and there’s no when that I know, and I can’t stand forever.

It’s time for others to carry the torch. I know that the next William F. Buckley, Michelle Malkin, and Ann Coulter are already out there. Is it you? If you don’t give it your best, you will never know.

Thank you to our writers, our readers, and all the people who have given me support through the years. It meant more to me than you will ever know.



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