Chucky Award

November 27, 2007

The Chucky Award
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AS our readers are already aware, the Chucky Award is awarded on a weekly basis to the person who best demonstrates their brain really isn’t much bigger than a monkey’s, thus proving that evolution is indeed a fact. We’ve had some wonderful people win this award such as Carla Dartez for her “Talk to you later, Buckwheat” comment and last week’s winner was also a woman in Yvonne Dorsey as she typed up an email asking people to apparently purchase her services as State Senator. The big question of the week is can woman take the award for a third consecutive week? Or will it be a man who evens it up at 2 a piece? And can a Louisianian keep this award right here in Louisiana?

Our first nominee for the Chucky Award is Katharine over at Cut to the Chase blog. Although she could earn the nomination on just about any given day, she earns the nomination for this post where she doesn’t believe Dick Cheney has a heart. Oh those crazy libs will believe anything, but where she makes stuff up is why she gets a nomination. In her post she suggests that even some Republicans believe that Dick Cheney will disappear so Bush will appoint Guiliani and he’ll win the Republican nomination, yet she doesn’t even cite any Republican bloggers who believe this. There’s all sorts of crazy stuff and we encourage you all to visit Katharine and have a few laughs at her expense.

Our next nominees have college degrees, but perhaps calling these folks bird brains would be an insult to the birds smashing their itty bitty beaks into their buildings. I am talking about the architects over at Emory University who built an “environmentally friendly” building that kills birds. Overzealousness can be a bad thing, especially if you are a bird. When the architects took the environment into consideration, they didn’t think about the trees reflecting off the windows and birds are flying directly into the windows, getting knocked unconscious and falling to their long and cruel deaths.

Even worse, they convinced their selves that their compassionate act was enough and when told that the building was killing birds they ignored it. At least until somebody brought dead birds and put it on the table. Now they cover up the building with a black drape.

Our next nominee is Toni Vernelli who takes the Chucky Award internationally by becoming sterilized at the ripe young age of 27. Not that she became sterilized mind you, but because why she did it. She believes that it’s selfish to have children because they will destroy the planet. Wait a minute, is this accurate? She can’t be a nominee… Folks, I just checked my facts with the Republican party and George Bush says this is stupid and if George Bush says it’s stupid, then it must be.

Despite that, however, I refuse to give Toni the Chucky Award and will go against George Bush on this issue and encourage all liberals to follow Toni’s lead and have yourself sterilized to save the planet. Think about the polar bears, the koalas, the sloths that are dying because liberals continue the selfish act of having babies. I know you liberals think I’m ridiculous at times but this time I’m being serious, please, please, please, stop having children. I think we ought to give Toni an award for true compassion, she might not be able to stop inflicting her stupidity on our society, but at least her children won’t. Now that’s compassion.

There’s no shortage of nominees this week as Ted Kennedy signs a multi-million dollar book deal to pen his memoirs. Nothing stupid about that right? But when The Drudge Report puts that headline right above another headline with the word spanking in it, one has to wonder what exactly is Kennedy’s book about? Is he really going to write about driving cars into Chappaquiddick, waitress sandwiches, and refusing to build windmills by his house while preaching to the rest of us about making sacrifices for the environment? I doubt it, but it still brings us to our next and final nominee.

Kathleen Wolf brings out her sheep’s clothing as she tries to force parents to have less options in teaching their children right from wrong. Under her bill, spanking children will become illegal in the liberal state of Massachusetts, but fortunately for Ted Kennedy driving cars into lakes is still legal for Senators. Charles Enloe, spoke up against the legislation and had this Chuckyesque quote from the article…

The charges were later dropped and Enloe told the Herald yesterday the experience “didn’t change my views at all. I believe discipline starts at home. Are they going to start legislating that you can’t raise your voice to your kids? That you can’t tell them when to go to bed? We’ll be communists then.”

Oh Charles, you already are. In fact, we here at Louisiana Conservative are grateful that our legislators aren’t as stupid as yours are. Then again, there’s no Chappaquiddick in Louisiana. But doesn’t Charles realize that in a liberal state it’s the government’s responsibility to do everything for the people? Even raising the children.

Ahnvelope please. And the winner is….. Mayor Ray Nagin! Mayor Nagin wins this weeks Chucky Award for not voting on October 20th. Mayor Nagin wins this nomination in part because his career depends on people getting out and voting, but he also endorsed a Gubernatorial candidate, John Georges, who was on the October 20th ballot. Good way to make friends with somebody. Tell them you want them to win but don’t go vote when they are on the ballot.

This rivals many other Chucky worthy acts by Mayor Nagin and it gives us a great opportunity to rehash all the old Naginisms. Who could forget his “a chocolate city” comments? Or when he went through the parade on a black horse painted white named ‘Vanilla’? And while encouraging the Nawlins folk to come home, he stormed off to Jamaica. I guess that’s part of his heritage and he wanted to really go home.

Thanks to Mayor Nagin, Louisiana continues our stranglehold on the Chucky Award and men have evened the score with women. But one has to wonder how Mitch Landrieu is taking this? First he loses the mayors race to Nagin, and then Nagin gets a Chucky before he does? Well maybe Mary Landrieu will threaten to punch the President, or Governor Bobby Jindal ( sorry I just love saying that) and bring the Chucky Award to the Landrieu mantle before the year is out.

Folks, let’s give a standing ovation to Mayor Nagin for keeping the Chucky a Louisiana tradition! Folks, it looks like we are running out of time again but if you are an elected official in Louisiana and would like to win a Chucky Award, please do something utterly stupid and we’ll be more than happy to nominate you for one!

Thank you folks and until next time, good night.

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