Officially it’s the state legislature, but as you’ll soon find out, we’ve got some crazy animals up in there, up in there. Let’s start with our most recent po-po story when my nizzle for shizzle was taken from his crib and thrown in tha big house just fo telling his ho what da rulz are. Or rather, Senator Shepperd was arrested at his home for banging his girlfriend… in the stomach, not the face.
Derrick Sheppard, the State Senator who likes to check out his teenaged boys and girls in tight-fitting jeans rather than sagging pants, apparently went to his ex not ex girlfriend’s house, alledgedly broke into her home, slugged her in the stomach then stole her blackberry… for those of you in the country, we had a ho down.
Derrick Shepperd then went home (which is out of the district he represents) and when the police arrived saw the kind and compassionate senator getting down and dirty with two strippers not wearing sagging pants. For you city slickers, that’s a ho ho down.
Today in court, the ex lady friend says she over reacted, that D.T. didn’t K.O. her, and that she’s still dating her sweet Derrick. Of course the evidence seems to indicate otherwise. All in all, Derrick ought to be something happy as he’s got a new piece of jewelry that he can put an Obama sticker on, his ankle bracelet.
Of course Derrick Shepperd has his already criminal investigation that he’s dealing with… See, Shepperd is qualified to replace congressman William Jefferson. And yes, this is the same city that has produced “ten years from now, that’s what 2012?” Ray Nagin, Mary “No drill” Landrieu, and Crybaby Broussard…”Tim… tee hee sob sob tee hee…”. What a wonderful freak show we have going on…
Not to mention the drunk mayor of Mandeville who slammed through the Pontchartrain bridge at 2 in the morning… going into New Orleans. Me thinks he was late for a party.
Let’s not forget Carla Dartez, whose husband hired illegal immigrants, while she drove with something in her system…
So the story goes with Foster Campbell that he thought he could drive down the interstate at high speeds because he was state legislator… before the road was open. When he found out why the road was still closed little kids watched his car fly through the air and said, “Look! It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no, it’s Super retard! Dee dee dee!”. Okay, so that last line probably isn’t true, but if any of you wonder why I call him Patch Campbell, well this accident should give you an EYE-dea.
Baton Rouge’s representation is a little better, but still you have that son of a state Representative who allegedly was involved in the slaying of a Christian musician, and Dexter Delpit, apparently a relative of a former State Representative, entered into a woman’s home and raped her.
Since all of the above mentioned are Democrats, even though I didn’t point it out, I am going to also make it a point to talk about being Sinator Vitter’s home state. Vitter, as you recall liked these sleep overs at border houses, I mean Bordellos, or hotels… doesn’t really matter, Vitter liked the girls who when he’d show a few bills to, she’d open up like a vending machine.
And even though New Orleans is the home of Jazz and tap dancing, there’s no tap dancing allowed here. Hey Idaho, we have enough problems, of course, that’s nothing to (tap) dance about.