Mystery Solved: The Ouija Board is Running California

May 23, 2012

Officials Make Decisions Based on Ouija Experience.

By Laura O’Halloran

Well we knew something was up in California. That state just hasn’t seemed right for a very long time. Governor Jerry Brown was resurrected after we thought his political career was sent to the grave, businesses get chased out of the state, China gets hired to build it a rail system, Hollywood goes off the deep end for Obama, over $5 million spent on researching “gratitude,” sanctuary cities for illegal aliens,  and the list continues on and on into an abyss of economic and social failures.

Perhaps it is because they have made a deal with Satan. We have found that their elected officials are consulting the Ouija board for answers, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. This demonic game of Q&A must have brought on some bad mojo to the Golden state and this could be the reason for their mindless practice of liberalism.

In San Francisco, the Board of Supervisors voted 9-2 to approve a resolution to name a naval warship after Harvey Milk, a political trail blazer for gay rights. This was after one of the Supervisors, John Avalos consulted with the “spirit” of Milk through the Ouija. Milk supposedly replied to the summons by spelling out the phrase, “Good riddance to don’t ask, don’t tell.” Milk was also a naval officer and former Supervisor to the board.  Opponents to this resolution do not want a military ship named after him as Harvey Milk was known to be anti-war. Those that support the resolution see it as a commemoration to the revocation of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” law for the military.

Harvey Milk being a proponent for gay rights is not the problem – it is the fact that elected officials are turning to the Ouija board to make decisions.  Shouldn’t they have considered praying about it instead? Flipping a coin or a game of “rock, paper, scissors” would have been less kooky.

However people feel about the Ouija board and its credibility – either way it is not good.  If this is the way government handles decision making, I would say that I now understand the decline in social and fiscal values our country is facing.  I’ve heard many people refer to California as the “Left Coast,” and “America’s Greece.”  I’m calling it “America’s Twilight Zone,” filled with Liberal zombies who are lost and confused with the Ouija as their compass.

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