Well, dear readers, tis the season, which means we need to make a list and….. well, you know. So we submit for your consideration a few holiday gift suggestions for this year’s most memorable Louisianans:
Bobby Jindal: Time. I suggest we all give him some – he’s gonna need it.
Kathleen Blanco: A Road Home (D’oh!). Or if the wait for that is too long, might I suggest a German steel mill – though the wait for that may be even longer…
William Jefferson: A new freezer. Go with a chest-type; he doesn’t do upright.
FEMA: This is a tricky one, as I don’t know how one would wrap eternal damnation. Is a bow involved?
The Legislature: Lumps of coal. Not for anything specific, just for aspiring to be Legislators.
Ray Nagin: A ‘Get Out Of Voting Free’ card. Or, an ‘I “heart” Dallas’ bumper sticker.
David Vitter: Some Vaseline and an imagination.
Oliver Thomas: Ditto, Vitter.
Robert Cerasoli: A budget. Some Post-it notes and a few filing cabinets would also be appreciated.
Walter Boasso: Some ‘Tide™’ and a hose.
Foster Campbell: Who?
John Georges: A plan to recycle all of those unused copies of the ‘Georges Plan’.
LSU Coach Les Miles: A free Louisiana driver’s license renewal; good for one year.
Brittany Spears: Underwear.
Mary Landrieu: A signed picture of herself with Hillary Clinton.
John Kennedy: A signed picture of Mary Landrieu with Hillary Clinton.
Charles Foti: A copy of ‘Trial Law for Dummies’.
The Ethics Board: Some ethics.
Buddy Caldwell and Royal Alexander: Less mud.
And last – Alabama Coach Nick Saban: A chance to play the Bunkie Pre-K ‘Disobedient Ponies’ – about the only Louisiana school the ‘Crimson Tide’ has a 50/50 shot at beating.
Happy Holidays to all!
(also posted at Red Stick Rant)