Open Letter to Bobby Jindal

October 25, 2007

Dear Governor-elect Bobby Jindal,

Or should I address you as the worst screw up since, well the guy who thought about inventing sliced bread, but didn’t do it. That’s right Governor elect, I’m calling you out. It’s been at least 96 hours since you won the election and all you’ve done to end corruption is to jump back on the bus and say thank you to the people of Louisiana and tell us how you can’t do it without us.

You’re the guy who’s supposed to end corruption, walk on water, heal the sick, and save the party. You’re supposed to be smarter than Einstein, you’re supposed to be the guy who snaps his finger and all is right with the world. But since you’ve been elected, I’ve noticed all the things you haven’t fixed.
Let’s start with corruption. You didn’t stop John Alario and Liberal Sherry Cheek from getting re-elected. You also have people who profit from government running for office like Bob Odom and Joe McPherson. What are you doing to stop them?

You haven’t ended global warming. In fact, while watching the news tonight, since you’ve been elected Governor, we’ve already had a big forest fire in California, and at what cost? How much did the forest fires cost us? Like Iraq, I have to wonder if that battle was really worth the cost of fighting. It’s a losing cause and perhaps it’s time to pull the firefighters from that quagmire.

Speaking about the war in Iraq, I remember Walter Boasso’s commercials saying that as Governor, he’d oppose the war in Iraq. Well, you still haven’t ended the war Bobby. What gives? And speaking about wars for oil, why doesn’t George Bush use some of that oil he stole from Saddam before he murdered him to lower the cost of our oil?

Four days Bobby, and you still haven’t rebuilt the World Trade Center in New York City. Can’t you put a little rush on fixing the WTC back up, like Bush rushed us to war?

And let’s talk about the moon, which might I remind you still has craters. Now, you and I both know how dangerous craters on the moon are, but this is an open letter and many people don’t quite understand. You see, for seven years, George Bush didn’t do anything to end craters on the moon because he doesn’t want to get Osama Bin Laden. He could end craters, but then terrorist wouldn’t be able to use them as foxholes. But Bobby, you promised us that you’d end corruption, yet, corrupt politicians can still use the moon craters as foxholes and hide. When are you going to end this potentially catastrophic problem?

The list goes on, mosquitoes still exist, ocean water is still salty, glaciers melt under the sun, we still can’t understand dolphin speak, and the world still hasn’t ended. I thought you were going to solve all of our problems. Barbwire still turns rusty, rats still exist, and Republicans have the audacity to actually have sex (something only Democrats apparently are allowed to have).

What did you expect Bobby? Did you really expect anybody to actually wait until you took office and give you some leeway before they would start criticizing you? As if, when has any elected official been given a 100 day honeymoon period? You were clearly the best of the four and it seems to me the racist democrats wouldn’t vote for you no matter what because your color of skin and you had a foreign name they would keep repeating.

You’re actually lucky Bobby, because for you, you actually have some extra time. Just Sunday I looked outside the window, the sun was shining, the grass was green, and it’s all that damn George Bush’s fault. You see Bobby, everything is still George Bush’s fault. But keep in mind Bobby, once George Bush leaves office, everything, including things that happen now, will be completely 100% your fault.

Last thing Bobby, I still haven’t even seen you walk on water. When are you going to give us a public demonstration that you walk on walter? How can we know you’re going to be a great Governor if you don’t walk on water?

And if you think all that is crazy, just wait until you hear the loony liberal left.

Yours Truly,

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Louisiana Conservative Dot Com

Post Script

Bobby, I sincerely wish you the best of luck as our next Governor. I live in this state, and the better job you do, the better quality of life we all have.

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