Roll Over, John. Now heel.

January 3, 2013


An Article by Leonard Brown


There had to be some nervous moments for John Boehner this morning going into the speaker vote. He had to know how displeased the conservative caucus is with him right now. There had to be some worry over whether or not he would have the chance to keep his seat. Well, congratulations. You had a vote to spare. Let that open your eyes, Mr Speaker. You pulled conservatives out of their seats because they weren’t playing nice, you caved in like a tar paper sewer line on the fiscal cliff, and it nearly cost you your prestigious position. Keep that in mind as you step into the coming legislative session. If you want to continue being second in the line of succession, then you’ll want to straighten  up on your policies, right?

First things first, spending must be cut. No more letting the left weasel out of that. Our debt is over 20 trillion right now. That’s excessive. I think we can all agree on that. It’s time to start cutting that number down to size. Start slashing spending immediately. No more stimulus packages. No more new programs. No more bailouts. The well has run dry. Do not pass go. There is not $200 for you to collect anyway. We’ve got to star paying off our current debt. This also means that we can’t raise the debt ceiling either.

I’ve got a little news flash for you on that subject. It is impossible to raise a debt ceiling. You’re not raising the ceiling, you are digging deeper into the floor. Sure the ceiling looks higher, but that just means it’s harder to reach. We are not robbing Peter to pay Paul, what we are doing is begging for credit when we have nothing to pay it back with anyway. We have got to start filling in that hole we’ve dug before we even consider spending another dime.



Let me point something else out to you, Mr. Speaker. The President thinks you are a pushover. He’s said so. The same night that he gloated over your participation in the “fiscal cliff” debacle, he made clear that you would not offer a challenge on the upcoming debt ceiling debate. Let’s look at exactly what he said:

“I will not have another debate with this Congress over whether or not they should pay the bills that they’ve already racked up through the laws that they passed,”

He’s right. You won’t put up more than a cursory fight, will you? Oh, you’ll protest, bluster, rant and sulk, but in the end, you’re going to let him have his way again. This is not really something that surprises anyone, in fact, it’s one of the reasons that so many of us wanted you out. Still, all hope is not lost, Mr Speaker, I have a suggestion that can help you out.

There is a simple solution for so many of your problems. A simple, elegant plan that will endear you to Republicans of every ilk. Are you listening? Pay  attention. I’m about to show you exactly  what you need.



This ingenius invention is known as a spine, Mr Boehner. They are so easy to acquire, that most individuals are born with one. Perhaps we can find you a suitable donor. Lord knows you haven’t seen yours since the junior Senator from Illinois moved to Pennsylvania avenue, and therein lies the problem. Mr Boehner, if you do not start standing up to this administration, this country is going to be in dire straits. Remember, this President that is leading you around by the nose, this man who has so completely brought you to heel is a Lame Duck President. He’s got no third term coming. He has very little leverage with the exception of public opinion, which swings further and further into his favor every time you cave in.

Remember, Mr. Speaker, you represent your people. You are the face of the Republican party in D.C. Try not to make us all look like lapdogs for once. Remember that you have a job to do, and that is to lead the opposition. If you do not oppose, how can you lead? Tighten up, Mr. Boehner. You’ve got a long fight ahead of you.


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