So Complicated, You Really Have To Be Stupid To Understand It

February 23, 2013

Bear with me as I’m going to attempt to enter the Liberal mindset. I’m not a liberal, I’ve got too much common sense for that. Still, I’m going to dare into the abyss of lowering my I.Q. to below zero. Many people have delved into Liberalism and simply have never recovered, so I ask for your prayers that I soon recover.

To understand the Liberal mind we must go all the way back to the dawn of time. There have been thousands of Ice Ages, which means that the earth must have warmed up in between ice ages, but since man didn’t exist to cause this global warming then it didn’t happened. Ice ages just happened and the earth just thawed out even though global warming didn’t happen.

Then we evolved, which somehow proves God doesn’t exist. There is no way that an all powerful God could have had so much power to evolve man into the being he is today. Everybody lived in peace and happiness.  Corn and wheat just grew everywhere and animals would just die on people’s doorsteps so they could eat. Then rich people came along and decided to hate poor people so they trained animals to run instead of dying. They built corporate offices on corn fields and built factories on wheat fields. Then they told the indigenous people “work for us or starve”.

Wait, I’m about to answer the age old question, ‘which came first, the gun or the corporation”. That is easy, the gun. You see, before there was ever a murder, people lived in peace and harmony. Animals would just come to your doorstep and die so that you could eat.  Okay so I don’t know the answer, but either the corporations invented the gun after tricking the indigenous people to buy them for a game called “hunting”, or the gun caused people to become so evil, they formed corporations. Regardless, there was never any murders until guns came along.

Let’s just flash forward to today before none of us recover from that. We’ll just all agree that Liberals think guns are bad. Now you’ve heard arguments that “Military Assault Rifles” shouldn’t be in the hands of civilians and it’s reasonable to think that because Liberals don’t want the average person to have nuclear weapons, tanks, and grenade launchers. This is a most excellent point the left in America is making. Yesterday, while driving to work, two civilians had a tank accident. One was driving an M1 A2 Abrams Tank and the other guy was an older gentleman who was still driving his Mk VIII, Cromwell. Traffic was delayed and I was almost late for work. Everyday in every city, there are shootouts between gang members who are using grenade launchers.

What was most appalling? Last week I went into 7-11 to buy a nuclear weapon and the clerk didn’t even ask me for my photo I.D.

Can you believe that? I said, “Aren’t you going to ask for my I.D.? Do you want children coming into your store and buying nuclear weapons?”

And do you know what he told me?

“I didn’t need my I.D. to vote because that’s discrimination, and I don’t want to discriminate.”

Anyway, I agree with Liberals on this point. We need to make it illegal for civilians to buy nuclear weapons. I just don’t think we should be able to go into the convenience stores and buy it along with a case of beer and a pack of cigarettes. Apparently we haven’t done that yet.

Now for even though gun control failed in Germany, Sudan, Rwanda, Cuba, Chicago, New York, California, and thousands of other times, we’re going to ignore the increase in violent crimes in England and point to England because gun control murders are down. Is it safer now in England? Even though you are more likely to die at the hands of a criminal now, you are safer because they won’t kill you with a gun, they’ll just beat you to death. Getting beat to death is a much better way to die than dying with a bullet to the head.

Well, you don’t always get beat to death. In Rwanda, the unarmed civilians were chopped down by machetes, in Israel, you can be blown up while riding a bus, and in many countries people are murdered by being burned alive… in countries (including the one just south of our border) with gun control.

What I’m about to tell you I would not suggest you look it up, unless of course you still can’t understand why a person would need a military assault rifle for self defense. In Nigeria, they have a thing called necklacing, in which a mob beats a person to the point of immobility before they burn him alive. It’s a mob mindset that can only be stopped by a rapid fire gun. Fortunately for the victims, assault rifles are banned in Nigeria. Death in this way is much better than death by a gun.

Whoops, reality hit. Evil people exist with or without guns. How some people go their whole life and remain liberal is beyond me.

Those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it. Those who are doomed to repeat history support gun control.


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