The Chucky Award

November 6, 2007

Folks, there’s some people who’s so bent on proving that Charles Darwin is right about evolution that they go out of their way to prove to the rest of us that the human brain really isn’t much bigger than a monkey’s.
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We here at Louisiana Conservative have figured out a way to laugh at their expense while giving them something they can proudly display on their websites. All they have to do is something they are already doing, that is, out stupid the rest of the liberals out there. It’s called the Chucky Award named for Charles Darwin.

That’s right, just be your normal wacky liberal self and you can win the Chucky award for having a brain not much bigger than a monkey’s brain. Never mind our laughing, we’re just laughing with you. Now some of you might not think it’s very nice that I’m giving out a Chucky award, but I don’t think it’s very nice of these people to unleash their stupidity onto the rest of us.

First let’s get to the nominees…

NFL on NBC for cutting out the lights, well some of the lights anyway. As part of their “Global awareness” NBC felt the need to preach to us about the importance of using less electricity. Well NBC, I did my part. As an NFL fan, I was willing to make a sacrifice. I did what you wanted, I helped NBC cut back on their usage of electricity by not watching the game. In fact, I will not watch NBC at all this week. It was a great sacrifice, but if I can do it, so can you.

Still, I kind of like leaving a carbon footprint behind, it’s comforting to know that I left my mark on the world.
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Hillary Clinton for her performance in last week’s Democratic debate. She’s for giving illegals a drivers license, she’s against it. She’s for the Iraq war, she’s against it. She’s being beat up, but she’s strong woman who could hold her own. She flipped flopped more in an hour and a half than John Kerry did the entire time he was running for President, or so it seemed.

It was a stellar performance, one that took the demo front runner from a strong first to well “let them drink more kool-aid!”, and drink her supporters did.

White Noise Insanity for showing us that liberalism is as wacky as a mad monkey’s arms. In her post titled “George Bush & Dick Cheney will be watching President Musharraf of Pakistan for sure!” she let’s us all know that Bush is a fascist and still believes the Supreme Court stole the election for Bush (need I remind any of you that it was Gore who wanted to take it to the courts instead of taking his loss like a normal and sane human being?). In her piece, she states:

“Oh wow. I bet they are. George Bush and Dick Cheney so badly want to take over the United States, because they feel they deserve it! Yeah, yeah, they ain’t losing no stinking elections to the American people who so badly want to kick their fascist asses to the curb, so they’ll just steal the next election any way they can. Since Nixon’s regime, Dick Cheney has argued that it’s the president who should have all the power and the Congress should not. Oh yes! Cheney believes America should become an authoritarian dictatorship rather than a democracy where the voice of the people reign! That idea is boring to them now! Hell, a stint of Reich Wing American Taliban Martial Law next year would be their most favorite Christmas-in-July present ever! They’ll be…”

Ha ha ha ha, oh, those wacky liberals can make me laugh. Okay, let’s just admit it. Bush is a dictator. You’re right KayinMaine, you’re absolutely correct. We had the perfect plan and we would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you, meddling kid. You’re just too smart for us.

Yes Bush is a dictator, he’s been quietly taking American protesters off the street, liberal bloggers off the internet and threw them in a fascist like concentration camp where they are fed red meat and pork instead of given three square meals of tofu. Haven’t you noticed that anybody who criticizes President Bush, (our King who we swear absolute loyalty to) has mysteriously disappeared? Millions of liberals have been exterminated through our evil plans to force America to accept George Bush as King of the world. A quick tidbit Lord and Master of the Universe George Dubya Bush was inspired by He-Man and Leonardo DiCaprio’s performance in ‘Titanic’.

George Bush declared martial law immediately after 9-11 and as a decider, he decided to let the elections of 2006 happen so the Democrats would win. Now that you’ve all come out of the closet, well, who knows what king of the world, Lord and Master of the Universe, is going to do to the remain few liberals, but I’m sure he knows what he’s doing… Obviously this dictatorship you’re living under is unsafe. Might I suggest a country for you to move too where you can be safe, at least for now? Try Venezuela or Iran, places where you are free to criticize their government without retribution.

Obviously I’m using a lot of sarcasm here, but how on earth are we supposed to take people like this seriously? A Chucky nominee for sure and if she lived in Louisiana, it would have been a no-brainer to give her the Chucky, she’s earned it. They all deserve the Chucky, named after a darling of the left Charles Darwin.

And the winner is…

Eddie Jordan! Yes! I was personally cheering for a Louisianian to win the first Chucky Award, dreams really do come true! And what perfect timing, the same week that he resigns as Orleans Parish D.A. he wins the Chucky. He might not ever get nominated again, but he won it his first time out. A well deserved victory for Eddie Jordan (wikipedia)

Eddie Jordan’s performance this past week has been a fine example of what his role in New Orleans government amounted too. Losing the discrimination case and having an armed robbery suspect run to his home for protection ends his term on a high note and helped him capture the Chucky, but it was his previous work that qualified him.

W hen Eddie Jordan first took office, he fired 43 white employees and replaced them almost entirely with African-Americans. Also, he tried to prosecute 7 officers known as the Danzigar 7 for the bridge where 7 officers shot and killed 2 African American men. Yet time and time again, when an African American would kill somebody, D.A. Jordan would let that guy go free so he could shoot more African Americans as was the case with Michael Anderson who was suspected of murdering five teens. Eddie Jordan maintained a stellar 12% conviction rate while the national average is a lowly 80%. His work over the past five years serves as a fine example of Louisiana incompetence on the elected level.

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s give these folks a round of applause, they have did their part to prove that evolution is really a fact. If you would like to nominate somebody for a Chucky award, send your nomination to jeffblanco @ louisianaconservative.com (don’t forget to take the spaces out) and put “Chucky Awards” in the subject box. Please include why you think they should be nominated and any links that would help make the case.

Until the next Chucky Awards, Good night folks.


2 comments
idahogie
idahogie

I think it's great that you equate support for science with liberalism. It's only a short hop from there to the logical corollary: conservativism is opposed to science. I plan to apply for one of your Chucky awards. I'll have to write a few posts about IDiots or crazy creationists first, but that won't be hard. Do you have some sort of icon I can display proudly on my blog?

GM Roper
GM Roper

Funny! Especially the indictment on Eddie Jordan. One wonders how long he "could have" lasted without the flooding?

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