10. Two weeks after arguing that stop lights are unconstitutional, Ron Paul gets run over in a crosswalk.
9. In 2008, Americans will spend more than 50 billion dollars in hair care products. John Edwards will account for more than half that amount.
8. In a fit of despair after not getting the GOP nomination, Mike Huckabee goes on an eating binge and gains back all that weight he lost. (So buy your ‘Jack-In-The-Box’ stock early.)
7. To bolster Barak Obama’s campaign, Oprah promises to give a new car to everyone who votes for him.
6. Ralph Nader will endorse someone. No one will care. Pat Robertson will endorse someone. No one will care.
5. Mitt Romney gets caught with Viagra. His campaign implodes when he tells a reporter they were for “softening poll numbers.”
4. Space aliens land and make contact with the human race. All they say is, “we’re very sorry”, and take Dennis Kucinich back.
3. Someone will throw water on Hillary Clinton. Her last words will be, “I’m melting! I’m melting!”
2. Rudy Giuliani shoots himself in the foot, but later claims he only did it show his support for the Second Amendment.
And the Number One Presidential Race Prediction: Former President Bill Clinton costs Hillary the election after it is revealed he was hitting on Fred Thompson’s wife. Fred Thompson clinches the election after he punches out the former President for hitting on his wife.
Happy 2008, everyone. It’s gonna be a long year. Very long.