Top Ten Presidential Race Predictions.

January 2, 2008

[ad#Google Adsense]
10. Two weeks after arguing that stop lights are unconstitutional, Ron Paul gets run over in a crosswalk.

9. In 2008, Americans will spend more than 50 billion dollars in hair care products. John Edwards will account for more than half that amount.

8. In a fit of despair after not getting the GOP nomination, Mike Huckabee goes on an eating binge and gains back all that weight he lost. (So buy your ‘Jack-In-The-Box’ stock early.)

7. To bolster Barak Obama’s campaign, Oprah promises to give a new car to everyone who votes for him.

6. Ralph Nader will endorse someone. No one will care. Pat Robertson will endorse someone. No one will care.

5. Mitt Romney gets caught with Viagra. His campaign implodes when he tells a reporter they were for “softening poll numbers.”

4. Space aliens land and make contact with the human race. All they say is, “we’re very sorry”, and take Dennis Kucinich back.

3. Someone will throw water on Hillary Clinton. Her last words will be, “I’m melting! I’m melting!”

2. Rudy Giuliani shoots himself in the foot, but later claims he only did it show his support for the Second Amendment.

And the Number One Presidential Race Prediction: Former President Bill Clinton costs Hillary the election after it is revealed he was hitting on Fred Thompson’s wife. Fred Thompson clinches the election after he punches out the former President for hitting on his wife.

Happy 2008, everyone. It’s gonna be a long year. Very long.

Chicago Tribune Marketing Column.

Chicago Tribune (Chicago, IL) October 17, 2002 Byline: Jim Kirk Oct. 17–For any boy who ever followed his father into a hardware store for the second, third, or fourth time in one day, it’s easy to understand how comedy would work well in an ad for a hardware chain.

In an upcoming image overhaul, Oak Brook-based hardware cooperative Ace Hardware is relying on San Francisco-based Goodby, Silverstein & Partners’ edgy ironic humor to reintroduce a post-modern Ace Hardware man to a new generation that is now probably making its own multiple trips in a day to the hardware store. site how to install a ceiling fan

In the first TV campaign since Ace moved its $30 million account to Goodby from Campbell Mithun here earlier this year, Ace is definitely aiming its message at a younger audience.

The company is even shortening its long-running “Ace is the place with the helpful hardware man” tagline to “Ace–the helpful place.” And while the helpful hardware man is still the focus and the point of difference Ace focuses on, his delivery is more sardonic than that of the cliched, smiling hardware guy you knew as a kid.

One 30-second TV spot opens with a kid playing basketball by a garage with someone who appears to be his parent. Suddenly the garage door opens and a guy with a paintbrush says to the man playing basketball: “Who are you?” The guy answers: “I’m Brad. I’m with the `Sons Without Dads’ organization. Who are you?” Puzzled, the man with the paintbrush answers back: “I’m his dad.” At that moment, an Ace Hardware man appears and with a wry chuckle says: “Spending too much time on home improvement projects? Come into Ace for the expert advice you need.” Another spot shows a man who has just finished installing a ceiling fan in the kitchen. A screw falls off the counter into the garbage disposal and the man goes fishing for it. At that moment, his wife walks in and says: “I didn’t know you knew how to install a ceiling fan.” She goes to flip the switch, and with his hand still in the disposal, the man is obviously worried about whether he made the right connections. go to web site how to install a ceiling fan

The Ace man’s observation: “How sure are you about your wiring skills? Come into Ace. We will show you how to get the job done right.” A number of other companies have turned to offbeat humor to reinvigorate their longtime brands, most notably Midas, Budget Rent-A-Car and Miller High Life. Success rates have been mixed at best.

So far, Ace executives are pleased with the new effort, which begins Monday.

“They are appealing to a little younger audience. But the spots are still emphasizing helpfulness, and we’re trying to make them memorable,” said Frank Rothing, Ace’s new advertising manager, who came from rival TruServ Corp. earlier in the year.

Ace has been playing up its helpfulness in the face of increased competition from huge hardware retailers such as Home Depot and Lowe’s.

“We think we can deliver on the helpful and convenience message versus others who promise helpful and can’t deliver,” Rothing said.

KRISPY KREME HOOKS UP WITH JEWEL: For the first time, Jewel-Osco will turn over its bakery doughnuts to Krispy Kreme in one of its new stores–its splashy new River North location, which opened Wednesday night. Other stores use their own bakery doughnuts, in addition to selling branded boxed goods. The state-of-the-art store right now is the only one in Jewel’s chain that will offer Krispy Kremes as its bakery outlet goods. A spokeswoman for Jewel said that Jewel parent Albertson’s has a similar arrangement with Krispy Kreme at some of its stores out West.

FOSTER’S LOOKING AT FOUR? Sources say that SAB Miller may be talking to four agencies about its $15 million Foster’s advertising account now at J. Walter Thompson. Besides Thompson, Miller is talking to M&C Saatchi, the Martin Agency and Wieden & Kennedy.

SI WOMEN IS SHUTTERED: The ugly advertising downturn has taken out another magazine. AOL Time Warner on Wednesday said it is ceasing publication of Sports Illustrated Women.

NOTED: As expected, Leo Burnett Worldwide unified its direct, digital and database marketing under one network to be named iLeo.


0 comments

Please help Louisiana Conservative Dot Com. Please donate $5, $10, or whatever you can afford to help our cause today!

Like Box