Last week I wrote 10 reasons why I won’t support Barack Obama’s Re-election, but in fairness, I wanted to look over ten reasons why I should support Barack Obama’s re-election campaign. After all, we should take a look at the positives as well, right? Okay for you folks on the left, this is called humor, please feel free to be offended, but.. keep in mind reason #10.
#10 – Barack Obama is a funny guy. Listen to his jokes on the serious issues. “It’s time for them to sit at the back of the bus.”, that’s hilarious. Maybe the proponents of border security will be happy if the government would build “moats with alligators”. Come on, that’s hilarious. Thousands of people are being killed right on the other side of the border, but it’s good to know that the President of the United States can find time to mock people’s concern. It’s probably true that President Obama is better suited to be a comedian like Wanda Sykes is, because mocking the opposition doesn’t do much to bring people together as a President should do, and yes, it does make him sound like a petulant man child. Still, after years and years of having a “Commander In Chief”, it’s nice to finally have a “Comedian In Chief”.
#9 – He’s a Democrat. Of course we all know it’s much easier to vote for a Democrat than it is too get a job, and at the rate the economy is going, it’s going to continue to get easier to go to the polls and pull the lever for Democrats than it is to get a job. Though, you might have to walk to the polling place since President Obama seems to like the high price of gasoline.
#8 – President Obama won’t let you starve while you are out of a job. Extending the unemployment benefits for what seems eternity is much better than actually working. Yes, you should work harder, but why should you? Obama will pay your mortgage, he’ll pay for the food on your table. You say you don’t want to live off of the fruits of other people’s labor? You don’t think you deserve to receive that which other people produce and worked for? Sure you do, while they bled, sweat, and shed tears on their jobs, you did the difficult task of pulling the lever for Obama, which proves you care and thus deserve some of their property.
#7 – He killed Usama Bin Laden. It was so nice of President Obama to jump off the golf course, fly to Pakistan, sneak into Usama’s million dollar cave, and shoot him.What I understand from news reports, President Obama didn’t even use Air Force one. No, he actually jumped into a telephone booth, put an ‘S’ on his chest, put his cape on, and was shooting Usama 5 minutes later. Amazing! We haven’t seen that kind of leadership since Fidel Castro stood out in the field and told a hurricane to “go away”. Speaking of Fidel Castro, why didn’t he just tell the fields to grow food?
#6 – The President understands “service”, and that’s important. It is important to serve your country, whether your investing your own money to create jobs, taking a pay cut at your Wisconsin employment because you are willing to do with less to balance the budget, or in general make a sacrifice so America will be a great place. Sometimes I feel like President Obama is saying “serve us”, not “service”, but that’s mostly because when he’s talking about service, I get the feeling it’s not what we can do for our country, but rather what we can do for him. And we should do for him, after all, our government is there for us to serve, not the other way around. Government is there so that the federal government employees, members of SEIU, etc, can make more money. We the tax payers should pay more, and those of us with private sector employment should just tighten our belts.
Still if Americans, excluding members of the SEIU, the federal government employees, President Obama, and well pretty much the members of the Democrat party, makes a sacrifice for the betterment of the country, certainly we’ll be a better nation for it. Worst case, at least the SEIU, the Federal Government Employees, President Obama, and pretty much the members of the Democrat party will be better off. “Serve us”, “service”, what’s the difference?
#5 – Taxes, the President always looks for ways for tax increases. What? You don’t pay any taxes now and you don’t want to start paying taxes? Great! Because the President needs people like you to stand up and demand that other people pay higher taxes. It’s not hypocritical to pay nothing in income taxes while demanding that other people who are already paying taxes “pay their fair share”. It’s actually more like the early half of the 1800’s when a man could just sit back with a tall glass of lemonade and demand other people not enjoy the fruits of their labor. You could just sit back, crack your whip and yell “Pay your fair share”. Ah, the good old days when the Democrats could control other people.
#4 – President Obama knows what’s good for you. Thank God we finally have a President who knows how to live our lives better than the rest of us. We need a program to get kids exercising more because parents don’t care about their children. Plus, stupid people who smoke needs a government who will make them quit by raising taxes on their cigarettes. Gas too high? Thank God President Obama is there to tell us to check the air in our tires and tell us to go buy a new car.
What I would really like to see President Obama’s administration do is teach us how to sneeze correctly. Oh, they did? Well, what I’d really like to see is President Obama’s administration take us back to the good old days before cars by building trains. Oh, they are doing that? How about restrictions on the internet? Well… great! If I think of something where the government doesn’t intrude into our lives, I’ll email the current administration. I’m sure it won’t take to long before give it their full and undivided attention. We’re too stupid to be self governing. They are so smart, they can govern every aspect of our lives.
#3 – You will never miss your kids. Since they will have health care coverage until the age of 26 but won’t have a job, all they will really need in life is good hand eye coordination so they can play the Sony Playstation. Why go get an apartment when they can live with you for the rest of their life?
#2 -Barack Obama is God. There is no need for an invisible God when we can actually see Barack Obama providing our every need for us. That doesn’t sell you? Well, look at the similarities between Barack Obama and Jesus Christ. When Christ was in the Middle East he washed people’s feet, and though President Obama would never wash anybody’s feet, when he was in the Middle East, he bowed before the Saudi King. Jesus Christ had twelve disciples, President Obama has 32 Czars. Like Christ, he never takes the blame, and they both get praised for everything good. God doesn’t have a birth certificate, and until a couple of weeks ago, neither did President Obama. Finally, both God and Obama are above the law. Why have a man as President when you can have a new lord?
#1 – He’s black, well, half black. President Obama is the first black, well, half black President, and at the rate he is going he might end up being the last black President, but that doesn’t matter. It’s an important step to diversity. Who knows, maybe the Democrats will double down off of Obama’s Presidency in their next candidate. No, not a real black man. Mickey Mouse is half black too, and Barack Obama has the cartoonish part down, so all we need to do is get the nation to diversify itself just a little bit more and the perennial write in candidate might just be a major candidate for POTUS.
If you don’t think the color of his skin is important, you probably need to check yourself. Seriously, think about it. Would you want to live in a nation that judges people by their character? Judges their Presidents by the content of their policies? Or do you want to live in a nation where we judge people, including Presidents, by the color of their skin? Of course you’ll want color of skin, you’re not stupid are you? Perhaps next we can get a brown guy in as POTUS. Ahmadinejad for President, anybody? No?
Obviously I don’t support President Obama’s re-election and hopefully most of you will think about good reasons to vote for or against President Obama. God put a brain in your head for a reason… use it.